The Longing for Belonging: My Journey to Christian Community
Growing up my family and I attended Catholic Church, I had community in my early years and looking back I really enjoyed it all. The gatherings, the connections with all age groups. I remember vividly all the moms and grandmothers always watching out for each other’s kids, the festivals, I also remember the moments I was asked to participate in group activities like the Christmas play and it was the church that introduced Ballet in my life, something I loved so much back then and something I’m currently wanting back in my life. But by the time I was 12 years old my family stopped attending church, for reasons that are still unclear to me, church hurt, I believe something someone said to my dad was all it took for the whole family to stop going, looking back I can see the negative impact of not having a community around us. It’s not good to navigate through life alone.
Along the way I learned to be good at doing things on my own and relying on my own strength and my own abilities to get by, in school I would not ask for help, I struggled so much going through life like this. Even after giving my life to Christ at age 38, I was very happy to just have a personal relationship with Him and nothing else, can you relate? But deep down my soul desired fellowship and community. Looking for a good church was the first step. So, I prayed for a church home that my own family would enjoy. My husband Rob, daughter Eva and I started off at a little Gospel Hall close to home, very sweet and I loved the potlucks every month, but it was a challenge for us to always get all dressed up and both Rob and Eva would yawn and fall asleep during the service, there was no worshiping just hymns. This was a sweet little church but not the best fit for us, it did however serve a purpose at the time as they focused on the Gospel and for a new believer like me, it was good to hear it.
So, I prayed again. Shortly after, on Instagram no less I saw a post on someone's stories, let’s call her Annie, who quoted (Isaiah 55:8-9) I quickly DM’d her and asked if she was a Christian and she was. I was so excited because at the time I knew very few believers around my age. She invited me to a women's conference held at a church 40 minutes away from us. The conference was so inspiring and relevant, I was hooked and had to share with my family. To my delight we started attending as a family but since this church was a fairly large, we found it hard to mingle and get connected. At the time my husband was at best just supporting my new interest in Christianity but was so gracious to drive us all out most Sundays. Then the pandemic hit the world, and we were all sent back to viewing online. For a few years this became normal for us to just watch online, and to be honest I kind of liked it. No commitments just watched online and carried on with our weekends, fabulous I thought, and life was good for a short while.
Once the pandemic ended we started attending again and leaving right after church no mingling or connecting. It wasn’t until my teenage daughter started skipping class that I started to desire help, you know that saying it takes a village… well I needed my village, I also really wanted my husband to have the same level of thirst for God as I did, this part of my life was a challenge, I prayed and prayed, finally one day after church there was a little meet and greet with free food and drinks. During that service I played it cool and asked my husband if he wanted to go and he said sure! Inside I was so excited because he is not the mingling type and my daughter well, she was in her teenage prime. A sweet couple and their daughters approached us and invited us to join their community group. I was over the moon excited because it meant that every other Tuesday our daughter would get a chance to attend a youth group, and we parents would meet at a local Tim Hortons. The first thing we all did as a group was share our testimony, I was a nervous wreck but Rob did so much better. After we both shared, we felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off of us it was so refreshing to get it all out. I have always struggled with speaking in public settings and allowing myself to be vulnerable, I know it stems from childhood school trauma, being told to just stay quiet about things, and also from not having community, so having a place where we felt supported was key.
For a few years we somehow managed to make it to the meetings which was again a 40-minute drive there and back, the commute was rough but at the time we welcomed the sacrifice. Sadly though, after my husband's job title changed, he had many more responsibilities that took up more time, so it became increasingly hard to not only attend church but also attend group meetings on a regular basis. So once again I prayed for a church closer to home, a community that would work better for our family’s needs and logistics. God is so good because while we had built a strong sense of community in us, God was working things out behind the scenes, God led us to a new church plant nearby, which we both love to not only attend regularly but to also serve, which is an answered prayer that I deeply desired. So currently we are in transition, it’s hard to let go. But I know that God has moved us for a reason, and we are all going along for the journey. Have you ever found yourself having to move on to a new church? How did you transition? I know— it’s not easy.
I want to share how having a church group has been so beneficial in our lives, it’s helped us along our journey of growth in a profound way, and I highly recommend joining one to anyone out there. But I must share that during a wilderness season I personally found it hard to fully open up to my group about the things our family was struggling with. I guess I just didn’t want to be judged, and I also felt like I was too needy and a burden on them, I didn’t want to upset them with what I was going through. Looking back, I wished I had found the courage to share more, but God is so good to remind me to give myself grace, that we are still growing and learning and that becoming more like Jesus takes time and requires grace. I would love to share a tip that really helped me out, if your anything like me, a prayer line, yes especially the nights where I felt so low and I was struggling to keep the faith, I would call for prayer, each time I was met with someone who was armed with Bible verses, this is also community. So, if you are really struggling and can’t seem to bring yourself to share with your immediate community group give them a try, at least until you feel ready to step out and share more.
Lately God has been nudging me more and more to share my story with others and to step out of my comfort zone. So, in just the past two months I have attended an all-day conference, a women's weekend retreat, I’m now serving at church regularly, signed up for online classes, and I’ve also joined a dance class. I’m in the land of discomfort right now, but wow is it ever feel good to let go and trust God. Along the way I’ve been able to connect with so many people and share my story I know the impact is small, but I know it will have a ripple effect.
In summary is community important in your faith journey? YES! Community builds bonds, trust, care, motivation and accountability in a nurturing safe place that results in so many answered prayers. Experiencing the joy from serving others as a family and receiving what others have to share about their journey has been so honouring and life changing. Also partaking in breaking bread together, crying together, witnessing miracles, baptisms, having fun, and supporting each other. It’s so beautiful and so needed for everyone. Imagine the ripple effects each of us is making by sharing our stories, slowly growing more vulnerable and shedding light into the darkest areas. The enemy won’t stand a chance, this is how we defeat the enemy. I know it’s scary to share and to even be seen, I’m still learning to be more vulnerable, I know it’s not easy. But I have faith we will all get there. I have faith we will overcome.
Encouraging Bible verse:
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. ”
“Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ”
Your Next Steps
What are your next steps? Saying yes to Jesus? Watching Church online? Finding a Church home? Asking for prayer? Serving? Joining a community group? Whatever it may be, know that each step takes courage, and you are on the right track. You are very special and worth spending time with, and even when you face rejection keep showing up where God leads you knowing that your value is measured by the God that created you, the God who redeemed you through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice, and the God who is molding you into the person you were meant to be.
All my love and hugs from my neck of the woods.